Bus
the London rain falls
like a tired cliché,
I have no defining words
or abstract metaphors
to make it sound deep
or meaningful, it’s wet,
my jeans are sticking
to my legs,
my arse is damp,
I have no umbrella,
I leg it about 100 meters
and duck under a bus stop
exactly 7 minutes later
I’m sitting on the back seat
of a double decker,
there’s a heavy residue
of weed and body odour,
the windows are fogged
because of everyone’s
incessant need to breathe,
every seat’s taken,
no one’s speaking English,
I’m bored out of my mind
so, I start to question
as I look at the sea of heads
in front of me, I wonder
how many of these people
farted in the past 10 minutes,
judging by the smell, at least 40%,
how many are sex addicts,
how many of the dudes
masturbate way too much,
I felt like getting out my seat
to perform a minor survey,
I was intrigued to know
how many hate the west
but love our benefits system
and all the glorious perks it provides,
and at the same time
despise our way of life
“roll up! roll up! come to Britian
if you want a free ride”
it intrigued me to know
how many perform incest
on a daily basis,
maybe someone’s wearing
a suicide vest but doesn’t
have the nuts to flick its switch,
how many of these people shit
in the street and don’t
see it as a problem?
how many hate Jews?
and how many abuse
their wife and children
and don’t see it as an issue
how many need pharmaceuticals
just to be able to manage?
and how many out of 10
partake in child marriage?
how many are trying to hide a ‘hard-on’
or a severe addiction to porn,
how many have just won the lottery
but they’ll never know because
they’ve blown their nose
into the winning ticket
“maybe one of them is a psychiatrist
who can help me cleanse my perverted mind”
as the bus pulled up to my stop
I hopped off, the sun came out,
I’m thinking when I next
leave the house and it looks
like it could rain,
I’ll take an umbrella and walk,
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