Beautiful Friends

beautiful friends constantly 

there for one another, “big ups” 

to all my sisters and brothers,

it’s you I can rely on 

until I pose a problem

then you’re gone,

this inconvenient truth shatters 

your social media persona

but that’s OK 

just keep beating your chest

as all your selfies 

and TIKTOK shorts suggest,

you’re a proper humanitarian

the number 1 salesman at Dignitas,

ending life is your occupation,

assisted suicide without 

the complication

of slashing someone’s wrists, 

it’s a minor inconvenience 

before you do brunch, 

slurping on your 

Aperol Spritz 

accompanied 

with a side order 

of chips,

calamari,

halloumi fries

and a selection

of condiments

and wines, 

you feast and dine

whilst perusing 

the online reviews 

about the efficiency 

you used to execute 

loved ones

legally,

it’s 39 degrees

and I’m nursing a pint

in the shade, 

I hear his girlfriend

earns above the

average paygrade

DAM!

these two are living the dream!

she works in social care

prioritising her self-esteem

over the patients she neglects,

surely there’s got to be a catch?

Nah! they’ve just purchased

an electric SUV with driving boots

and gloves to match, 

rumour has it 

they paid for it in cash

even though they have

apple pay on their device, 

all these beautiful friends

sharpening their knives,

ready to stab you in the back

to further their career

 “no hard feelings mate, 

let me buy you a beer

it was an opportunity 

I just couldn’t turn down,

listen fella.......... 

when I next see you in town

I promise I’ll lend you 

a few bucks to make up 

for the devious fuck 

I turned out to be”