all eyes on the minute hand
a conscience countdown collectively shared,
team building, bribes and brokering,
you ain’t winning unless you’ve been drinking,
it’s all in the lines they’re snorting,
it’s all in the cufflinks he’s sporting,
getting paid then getting laid,
you’re a fully fledged member of the limpet parade,
they all start spawning come five o’clock,
dressed in their strides and matching tops,
clean shaven sides, a quick trip to the barbershop,
it’s Friday night - “lets party till we drop”
nine pints in, you ain’t winning unless you’re bingeing,
I can’t take it seriously,
there’s no truth in the pills he’s taking,
forget about the details, it’s all just booty shaking,
“hang on a minute a mate” – that’s my girl you're groping,
that’s my mate he’s dissing,
that’s my wife he’s grabbing and kissing,
that’s a glass you’re smashing, with one wild swing,
that’s my face you’re slashing,
I’m slumping to the floor,
that’s my skull you’re kicking,
it’s my blood that’s dripping,
the night’s already gone a little too far,
so lets move onto the next bar,
the streets are sprawling battle grounds,
it’s the same old story in every town,
until the Sunday night ‘comedown’,
but we’ve got a good few days to go,
you only live once so grab a girl,
force her to dance,
ply her full of booze and drugs,
if you can’t pull,
slip a single Rohypnol
into her glass, when she’s distracted
take her home before she’s reacted,
keep it quiet, keep it clean
she won’t remember a thing,
it’s a one night stand,
a meaningless fling,
a great story to tell
come Monday morning
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