Communication 85

a populous contorting

a populous contorting, all principles

as beautiful as they were,

are now fading, 

I refuse to entice the wolf to my door,

these ‘half-baked’ truths 

don’t represent my choice,

and those that govern 

don’t represent my voice

where have you gone, ‘my homeland’

with your heart beating strong,

when no man of any faith

could rape you of your throne,

there was a time long ago

when your blood pumped so hard 

through my veins,

you were violence

harder than anything I’d ever known,

but then came the hunters,

travelling by night

who ravished you to the bone,

I’ve tried so dam hard

to resuscitate your message

but I just can’t do it on my own

I cannot face a future void

of vitality, I can’t live a life – ‘profound’ 

if I’m unable to circumnavigate your reality

Communication 84

agoraphobic

I’m within your walls

agoraphobic

no gaps too small

silently I’ll crawl

within inches of 

your wild eyes,

doors

they slam,

never open

bolted, unarmed,

undone,

I’m under the 

floorboards 

within inches of

your stride,

5 years and 

counting

I’ll break to stay alive

doors they open,

I’m confined,

no crawl space

too small

agoraphobic

my world 

is a wall

Communication 83

a safe concentration  

I have no reason

to carry these burdens anymore

I have no mind 

to know what for

‘myself’ was stolen

a good few years ago,

where it travelled, no one knows,

I for one will never be the same

as strange as it sounds

I felt no pain

just a brief encounter

with the bruised unknown,

no love, no laughter, no route home,

life feels so wrong,

I’ve lost my way,

there is no chorus or sweet refrain,

I’ve been subject to my misery

for far too long

there are no lyrics 

to complete my song,

to admit my downfall would be a lie,

I try and try again,

it appears misery is now my friend,

an uncontrollable flame,

impossible to tame,

it’s all so very clear now,

I’m on my own,

‘misery’ 

penetrates deep 

within the bone

Communication 82

your prison

your prison is the skin,

your eye a hole the light creeps in

in your body, disease lays waiting

hearts and minds deteriorating,

I am your prison,

you are my reason

to make a break

to make my escape

Communication 81

don’t stay frightened

my hips are at right angles, yours curve left       

I can feel your pulse race as we hold our breath,

the fear it’s passing through our veins  

our soul, it shatters but the spirit remains

Communication 80

Here lies a soldier

Firmly rooted he stands alone

in his forest of quiet nurture,

standing tall a wooden throne

once stood below the elder.

A sapling survivor from thorough day,

his branch an undue perch,

his ancestors, a remaining few,

the oak, the silver birch.

Communication 79

post war bliss:

subproject 3

this terror in my head wont heal,

stripping away the layers like orange peel

my broken memories I’ve not forgotten,

periodically scratching riddles on the wall,

with no recollection of what I’m driven to drawn

gentle persuasion through electroshock

caused my mind to shift ………………………

I’m walking a black path illuminated poorly

by the remnants of LSD and tranquilizers

an unwilling participant for those that stood before me

restrictive isolation - telltale signs of sleep deprivation,

senses severely dulled due to repeated exposure to

varied nerve gases, project ‘Artichoke’

mind control of the masses ………………………

a mind vulture,

MK ULTRA ………………… 

Communication 78

Plummeting

this fledgling fell fast through life’s passage 

 careering toward a point in time he’d keep

he held tight to what he forged through courage

 poised with the posture of a saint he reached 

toward another he believed he could teach

Communication 77

the state

it’s all synthetic

buildings with no windows

sharp 90 degree angles,

each and every cell is medicated,

pacified by proxy, legislate sooner,

we all unknowingly participate,

no fee is too great,

continue to consume,

billboards

pedaling

the same old tricks

there’s no way out,

no eject switch,

spend,

sanitize,

debt,

split,

divide,

fragment,

there is no honor,

distract,

divide and conquer

legislate, again

participate unknowingly,

there’s no greater power

than the state,

memorize your number,

tax,

deceit,

pulling the rug

from beneath your feet,

willfully molding

the facts,

back track,

frequency medicine,

a silent attack,

disperse,

colonize,

lies,

please,

try to see

your world

through

human eyes

Communication 76

A Chemical Embrace ‘Quetiapine’ 

unwillingly attached to this unrest,

segregated swiftly

surgically removed from normal behaviour,

come, embrace this ‘Anastasia‘,

don’t question, don’t suggest,

“they are the masters 

and they know best”,

through time you’ll be shown

an autopsy of all you’ve ever known

don’t question, don’t grown

just swallow the pill, it will mask your ills,

what you feel won’t be real,

the effects, they wont last long

come on, take this dose,

wash it down, don’t choke,

be patient!

a neural pathway broke

Communication 75

releasing 

as I lay here I’m releasing,

unshackling constraints of my condition

my belief, it ends with war, killing and religion

I refuse to carry the burdens

of other peoples afflictions, 

I’m on a path in which nothing is given,

left only to scribe all that I feel on the inside

each word written will one day reveal a map,

an amalgamation of everything I’ve learnt

and the little I have taught,

all that we sacrifice is never lost,

it simply ferments and becomes the best of us,

finally when arthritis and memory loss

has removed all I’ve grown to be,

only then will you know, only then will you see 

whatever hand this life dealt

never got the better of me 

Communication 74

the best of us

I’m honored to witness her rising,

a virgin to her touch

she comes to me in twilight fading,

masquerading 

from the moment we met,

our hearts need rearranging,

these feelings we best forget,

by the hour we are changing,

come morning we’ll begin to break,

like fragments from a passing star,

we’ll breach within our wake,

our love will soon be forgotten, left

only with the remanence of what

it was like to feel complete,

these memories I’ll incubate,

cement and stitch, oh !

let us never give in, never compete,

the best of us can’t be lost,

it simply performs and repeats

Communication 73

The Angler ‘a reason matters not’

through the woods

where phantoms rest

dull, dead stick like objects

brush hard against my chest,

I will not falter 

I shall push forth, 

searching for my alter

a calm fluid acre of water,

what lies within, matters not

small fry dart from those with wings

“metaphorically” meaning so many things,

I’ll keep guessing, eager to cast

one fine line into its past,

moments will stop

immortalised in time,

for what reason?

a reason matters not,

my hook is tied

I’ve greased my line

I’ll angle my life away

one cast at a time

Communication 72

‘Human’ is a shape

Free me from the chains of being human

it’s a shape I just can’t fit

I’ve tried so hard to make the best of it,

all to no avail, it’s a grave and septic betrayal

if I choose to exit quick,

drag me far from view, splinter and sand me

then send me off to sea,

to dwell behind every wave that breaks

I’ll soften gently, erode and reshape

destine, finally to fit my fate

and as the healing season wakes

I’ll re-root and re-establish my meaning

my thoughts, I’ll nurture before seeding

and then I’ll grow, to be made capable

of dealing with ‘human’ once again

Communication 71

3:45 am Dawn Walking 

The alarm like a scalpel cutting into sleep,

I wake and unzip my eyelids

I’ll leave the demons dormant,  

underneath the bed,

dawn walking on my own, 

hours before the traffic drones

and footsteps spoil the mornings morals 

with a cluttered undignified march

hand on the door handle, so eagerly awake,

right foot forward, headfirst into day break,

not so much as an echo carries,

it’s just dead air, yet to be of relevance,

I inhale deeply, 

tasting yesterdays reminiscence,

I have no desire to carry the past protagonist,

so I walk and keep on walking,

streets and side roads winding 

not one soul shows or surfaces,

all intense and purposes remain locked away,

poignant , I continue to wander,

determined not to squander 

the closing seconds, before the gavel bangs, 

when trams, buses and trains

inject themselves into the cities veins 

Communication 70

Forever Eternal

So much of life has passed me by

places, faces have come and gone,

I’m still the same though, well,

at least I think I am,

memories like shrapnel

disintegrate

erode

disband

naturally becoming fragments

in my wasteland,

“for now at least

I’ve forfeited peace

for a journey

that pulls me far from you,

there are no calculations

for my destination”

I am forever eternal,

a star with no core,

a moon with no sun,

a frequency

with no measured resonance,

a signal with static interference, 

when you next see me

time would’ve changed

my appearance

resting,

I lay within this crimson,

with limited vision,

my third eye,

my only orientation,

there is no parallel 

not one that I can clearly see,

I’ve done my best

to hide from age

but it would appear

its finally caught up with me

Communication 69

Oceans In The Sky 

There are oceans in the sky

they can't be seen with the human eye

you'll feel their rush, a sound of a pipe

as darkness yawns, you'll see their light

I wish so much I could hitch a ride

take a chance, be gone in a glance,

but I can't,

here I stand cemented to this earth

lamenting fallen feelings,

scribbling useless verse,

what I write means nothing to no one,

I'll sit and wait though, 

tormenting myself to try and make sense

surly my time can be better spent

Hopping lives carriages, forging new friends

marriages of the heart,

those who come together, eclipse

the few that break apart,

I'll always be here for you

behind each wave as it so gracefully breaks,

I'm your foundation,

I'll steady you, support you

however long it takes,

come now, set sail with me 

upon the oceans in the sky

hold my hand tight, and kiss goodnight 

to a life that wilted so many years ago